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:: Tuesday, 14 October 2003 ::

Graffiti, Dumped Cars, Abuse from Truanting School Children, Abuse of Fireworks = Yob Culture

British PM Tony Blair now on the telly about new laws in Britain to curb yob culture.

Now, I do not like yobs. They do not like wogs, as a rule.

But wha'? A Britain wivout yobs? Is it possible? The Brits have always struck me as romantically attached to their yobs. Anyone who's ever watched European and World Cup soccer knows this.

Anyhoo, good excuse to recycle some great Brit Yob Poetry c/- Ian Dury and the Blockheads - 'Blockheads'

You must have seen parties of Blockheads
With blotched and lagered skin
Blockheads with food particles in their teeth
What a horrible state they're in

They've got womanly breasts under pale mauve vests
Shoes like dead pigs' noses
Cornflake packet jacket, catalogue trousers
A mouth what never closes

You must have seen Blockheads in raucous teams
Dressed up after work
Who screw their poor old Eileens
Get sloshed and go berserk

Rotary accessory watches
Hire-purchase signet rings
Of beauty to the bully boys
No lonely vestige clings

Why bother at all about Blockheads?
Why shouldn't they do as they please?
You know if it came to a brainy game
You could baffle a Blockhead with ease

How would you like one puffing and blowing in your ear-hole?
Or pissing in your swimming pool?

Bigger brained Blockheads often acquire
Black and orange cars
Premature ejaculation drivers
Their soft-top's got roll-bars

'Fill her up,' they say to Blockheads
'Go on, stick it where it hurts'
Their shapeless haircuts don't enhance
Their ghastly patterned shirts

Why bother at all about Blockheads?
Superior as you are
You're thoughtful and kind with a well-stocked mind
A Blockhead can't think very far

Imagine finding one in your laundry basket
Banging nails in your big black dog

Why bother at all about Blockheads?
Why should you care what they do?
Cos after all is said and done
You're a Blockhead too


Lord, what a great song.

Black and orange cars.

Mostly Cortinas, really, when that song was written.

:: WB 4:45 am [link+] ::

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