:: Sunday, 1 August 2004 ::
Five tips on how to live a more ... life
I found this seering shite in the SMH Sydney Magazine.
"Five tips on how to live a more ethical life" and it literally said nothing to me.
I saw the words on the page and the sound in my head was "zhshhhzzzhshhhhh, whooooooo" closely followed by Creedance Clearwater Revival's Green River, cos it in in my headset these days.
And here are the tips:
1. Cool global warming by insulating your home, buying compact flourescent lights, using public transport and cutting hot water consumption.
2. Reduce your ecological footprint by buying locally grown fruit and veg, printing on both sides of your paper, composting your waste and reusing shopping bags.
3.Before you buy something new consider whether the product is ethically made, renewable, biodegradeable, energy efficient, water efficient and organic.
4. Bear in mind Dr Seuss who said "Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing's going to get better, it's not."
5. Remember that, according to "New Scientist", the path to true happines lies in desiring less, helping others and having friends you value.
Wipe your mouth, you got some puke bits still there. I will let you clean up and then you can come back to this.
Can you believe the emptiness, the crushing 'good will' and wankery in all this? I can hardly believe it. These dickheads, Mike Hanley and Adrian Monck, think that we are none of us living ethical enough lives. We need to be more ethical. And 'ethics' in their empty whitebread world is all about the environment. And about 'caring'.
I mean, puhlease. The first 3 points are like a pathetic politically correct description of an old wog's house:
1. ever bin in an old wog's house? It is cold. Cold like a fridge. Why? Cos they are too stingy to put the heater on anytime. Plus, most of them are wearing like eight layers of clothes, you know the dress and the apron and the cardigan and the second cardigan.
2. hello, tomatoes growing in the front garden of a terrace house.
3. who buys new? The mogorav is old, the frigo is ancient, the pots and pans come from Nonna and Nonno and everything is ethical and biodegradeable cos it's gonna all be left to the kids - that is what ethics (family) and biodegradeable (it breaks on someone else in the family's watch) means.
And the last 2 points are just pathetic attempts at social reengineering to castrate us all and turn us from individuals who love our culture and history into walking shame buckets who pretend we like folks when we actualy wish they'd all f-f-fade away. I mean:
4. Seuss? You call that poetry? Now, Orlando Furioso. That is poetry.
5. New Scientist? Wha.? Jesus, more like. And even he wasn't right about everything. You gotta look out for yourself and your family sometimes, most times, you know?
I reckon what is needed is less ethics and more wogs. More woginess:
1. Global warming is bullshit. The only warming you need is in your pants and on the Monaro first thing on a winter's morning.
2. Grow your own vegies, not because some wanker thinks its fun, but because they gotta be ready for botting sauce day and it is important that Zia Laura does not win again this year.
3. ask yourself - is it made in Italy? If it is, buy it.
4. Bear in mind Floyd Podgornick. He spent too much time with skippies.
5. the path to true happiness lies in the taste buds for food, wine and coffee, the hands for caressing, the balls of the feet for accelerating and the heels for breaking, the voice for laughter, arguments, storytelling, singing and communicating with those you love, wog and skippy alike.
But mostly, the secret to how to live more woggy is your life lies in the food and wine and cars and making love.
Pretty simple really.
:: WB 1:26 am [link+] ::