:: Thursday, 28 November 2002 ::
Old, and long, but sooooo very, very good
For visitors from outside Sydney, to fully appreciate this email gag, think "Bankstown", think high school in any upwardly mobile working class suburb full to the brim with wogs. Think wog-central for every other address or venue mentioned. Think final year exams before you go to spewni (University. Or more probably TAFE.)
You will get it.
BANKSTOWN HSC EXAM QUESTIONS:
1. If Mario fits a monster tacho to his TE Gemini, how much quicker will it go down the quarter mile along Bexley Road on Friday night?
2. If Stella (who is 26) is only allowed to go out for 8 hours on a weekend and on Friday night she goes out with her 14 cousins to DCMs for 5 hours, how long can she go to Norton St for a coffee on Sunday night?
3. Mohammed has 7 children and gets $600 a week from Social Security, if he goes to the TAB and puts half of it on a donkey in the 5th race at Warwick Farm that's paying 22 to 1 because Ali says it's a fix, how many stolen car stereos does he need to sell when the horse fails to finish?
4. Jim has just got a big payout from work cover for a bad back, does he?
A: spend the money on a holiday back home to Greece
B: use the money to put Doric columns in his Earlwood house veranda
C: go tothe casino and try to double it.
5. George is going to the underage disco on Saturday. Will he get in easier if he wears his Kappa tracksuit or his Adidas tracksuit?
6. Peter and his mates are going cruising in Brighton Le Sands on Friday night, how many stone chips will his car get if he doesn't fit
his car bra?
7. How much quicker will Ali's VK Commodore go if he fits the stolen VL turbo badge on it and shifts the number plate to the side so it looks like he's running an intercooler?
8. From how far can you hear Ricky Martin being played in Rocky's Hyundai Excel, if he has just fitted 2,500-watt amps and twin 15-inch subwoofers?
9. Habib wants to go to Embassy nightclub on Saturday night. How many cousins does he need to take with him in case he gets thrown out and wants to fight the bouncers?
10. Farouk's mates are going down to Maroubra Beach for the day. How much gel will he need to take with him if he goes into the water for a swim and still wants to look cool for Rogues later?
11. How many chicks does Jimmy need to say he scored on the weekend if he wants to sound cool to his work mates at the panel beater's on Monday?
12. Spiro has got a big date on Saturday and wants to look ripped in his skin-tight lycra top. How much will he need to bench press at the gym on Friday night?
13. Nick's 6 mates want to go down to Wiley Park McDonalds in his VK Calais 5.0 ltr. How much petrol money does he need to get off each guy if he's running a 3000rpm stall and 4.11 diff ratio?
14. Who should Maria go out with this weekend if?
A: George is a DJ and drives a Gemini with fake supercharger inlets
B: Mario works for his Father's concreting company and drives an XF Ute with a big block and Pioneer sound system
C: John who's unemployed but can get drink cards at Rivas nightclub
15. If Con works at Franklins at Fairfield, how much overtime will he need to do to pay Ali the delivery driver for the sickmate 18 inch Simmons wheels he just scored?
16. Nguyen's parents just bought him a brand new Honda Civic. He has $2000 to spend on after-market parts for his car. What should he buy?
17. Mick wants to put either a Jim Beam sticker or a Porn Star sticker on his Torana. Which one will get him more roots?
18. If Gianni chops the springs in his parent's new VX Commodore, how many times a week will he get hassled by the cops if he puts 90% tinting on the windows as well?
19. How much better will George's stereo system sound if he puts an Alpine sticker on the back window of his Bluebird?
20. It's nearly summer and Guido, 19, is worried about the hair growing on his back. Should he?
A: Shave it
B: Wax it
C: Get electrolysis like his sister
D: Leave it because his mates say chicks dig hairy men.
:: WB 1:05 am [link+] ::
Surely, there is more than one road
This is exactly how wogs like their news. Short. Sharp. And with cheese.
:: WB 12:50 am [link+] ::
:: WB 12:47 am [link+] ::
:: Wednesday, 27 November 2002 ::
Have a read and then ask yourself: could there be some exaggeration going on here? Maybe? Just a little bit? Made to walk like a dog, in the nude? Zif.
:: WB 12:44 am [link+] ::
'Scuse me mate, your partisan position is showing
Tim Dunlop writes about the PM's recent letter of response to Brian Deegan:
Why does the PM need to respond publicly to this grieving man? Why does the PM need to respond at all? Does he respond to every open letter addressed to him? Why this one? Does he really need to give this guy a public lesson in the bleeding obvious and put him in his place?: "He died at the hands of a murderous group of Islamic fanatics who despise the liberal democratic, open life of Western nations, such as Australia."
Why not a private letter, or even a meeting, out of the public spotlight? Is Howard really that sensitive to criticism that he has to, however gently, take the father of a dead kid to task in a national newspaper? Does anyone think Mr Deegan feels better for the PM's intervention?
Imagine if Paul Keating had done it what the rightwing pundits would be saying.
I will explain why. Because the PM is an elected representative. Australians, including wogs, vote for him and his party. They support his government's policies. Deegan blamed the government. Deegan blamed all of us who support the government. John Howard is not the government. We are. Our money and our votes. John Howard, as the PM of the government was addressed by a very important Australian in The Australian (boom tish). John Howard took the time to write to Deegan to explain our position to a very important man. An Australian man who is broken and who calls for a response from John Howard. John Howard did not "take Deegan to task" even remotely. He responded to him. And he set out our position. If Paul Keating had done the same thing, exactly the same analysis would apply.
What is about lefties? Uh. Enough.
:: WB 6:00 pm [link+] ::
Oh, Stop Yourselves.
Look how this letter starts. "We, the undersigned...". They might as well have opened with "Assume the position, kneeling, and begin...." you can guess the rest. Imbeciles.
Also, look at the solution they propose as the alternative to the new anti-terrorism laws. Not very impressive. Not very there. At all. Sheep.
:: WB 1:08 pm [link+] ::
Lileks is good
Here, he quotes from a letter he got from some hysteric:
The letter's postscript coda posits a new dire peril: "The Senate, the House of Representatives, and White House are now controlled by anti-choice extremists." Look. If there's a challenge to particular laws in particular places, tell me. Be specific, so I can understand the particulars. Don't use the language that makes it sound as if women are being poked back into the kitchen, stripped of their footwear and impregnated with SpermBots wearing blank-eyed plastic Ashcroft masks. Extremist? I direct your attention to Saudi Arabia and Nigeria. If Bush is an extremist on abortion, then how exactly do we describe the mullahs and sheiks?
I often wonder about the hysteria of certain people. If hysteria is your normal reaction to something simple, like a fair electoral victory to the party you do not happen to like, what happens when, say, your kid is mugged. Does your head explode?
Perspective. Needless to say, wogs are very familiar with the concept.
:: WB 4:51 am [link+] ::
Why more than 75% of workers choose not to be in a union
Simple really. From a wog perspective. But let us see what the unions say first:
ACTU secretary Greg Combet believes one of the reasons is that workers today take for granted the basic rights won by unions. "A generation changes and younger people today don't have much of an idea of how these things were achieved," he told The Daily Telegraph.
Unbelieveable. Many things have been achieved by good people struggling against unfairness and adversity in the past. Many good things. Women in the Western world are routinely, if not deliberately scantily clad. Thankyou feminsist sisters of old. And child labour has been abolished in the West. Thankyou unions. Thank you very much.
But, no (here comes the wog perspective), you cannot have any of my money.
That is the reason less and less people join unions. Because unions are no longer stopping child labour. They are propping up unions and charging the members. That is now their core business. Fair trade. 2.5 hour week. Compulsory Pregnancy and 2 years childcaring time. Blah, Blah, Blah. These are their policies. The unions have done their good work in Australia. Now they fade. People no longer care about their glory days because the glory days no longer matter. Now, we have to just to get on with working well.
Which is as nature intends.
:: WB 4:25 am [link+] ::
If it is true he is legend. If it is not, he is still a legend. How good is that moustache.
:: WB 4:19 am [link+] ::
The secret of happiness
Unable to keep quiet in the face of Paul Sheehan's recent piece (which was wogblogged below) Sir William Deane says that the Mistake Creek killings occurred, okay? They just did, alright? Do not say the records do not show any killings. Just do not say such a thing, get it? Even if the records do not support it, you understand? Just say what some Aboriginals say. Okay?
And then he writes this:
The Sisters of St Joseph, who have selflessly served the indigenous peoples of the East Kimberley for many years, have erected a small monument at the foot of the old boab tree at Mistake Creek to mark the place where the killings occurred. There, on All Souls Day each year, representatives of the Kija gather in prayer and fellowship with non-indigenous fellow Australians, to mourn those who were killed. "Theirs is", as I have pointed out, "the path of true reconciliation".
Subjugate yourself and then put a plaque next to a tree and worship it annually. Everybody reconciled.
No wonder Noel Pearson sounds like he is going crazy. What else can you do when well-meaning fools (I am sad to disrespect a former High Court judge,but there it is. Deane is a fool.) get all the press about what Aboriginal's need or want?
UPDATE: Do not argue with my truth
This is on topic (again, see below) Ken Parish writes:
Retired Governor-General Sir William Deane has a detailed reply to Keith Windschuttle in today's SMH on the circumstances surrounding Mistake Creek massacre. More than persuasive methinks. If you're inclined to the John Howard/ Windschuttle airbrushed view of Aboriginal history, however, you'll no doubt just dismiss Deane as an old bleeding heart.
I repeat for those hard of reading. It is a massacre. There is no objective evidence for this. But do not argue. Just do not.
What the hell does 'methinks' mean? I do not know. But I am guessing it means...you do not want to read what I think it means.
:: WB 4:09 am [link+] ::
:: Tuesday, 26 November 2002 ::
New anti-terrorism laws at a State and Federal level are giving the heeby-jeebies to a lot of skippies, mostly lawyers. And some wogs. Mostly terrorists. Or terrorist sympathisers who know where the terrorists are and who help the terrorists either by doing something, like paying money, or deliberately doing nothing, like deliberately not handing the terrorists over to a punishing squad (which could be the Police Service, but could also be the boys at the Abruzzo Club. They’re up for doing some punishing of terrorists.)
It is clear where the wogs are coming from. They are the only honest bunch around. They actually say clearly “The law is bad because it will lead to me and my terrorist buddies being caught, being terrorists or sympathising. And I do not want to be caught.”
The lawyer skippies, well, they are less honest. They say “This is draconian. I am in fear. Australia is a police state. Blah, Blah, Blah.” What they really mean is “This might actually catch some terrorists. But it might cause some wogs to be questioned. Wogs cannot take questioning. They are just wogs, after all. They need me. Skippy. Wogs are disloyal by nature. They would not want to help catch terrorists. How could they? They are all terrorists! But I never want to say that to them. They might bash me. I am a lawyer. You should all shut up and listen to me.”
So hysterical. So preachy. This is important stuff. But no wog will take any notice unless the language is a little more woggy. But not just saying “Mussolini” and “fascist” over and over, okay? Wogs are intimately familiar with the man and the movement. The new laws are nothing like it.
Of course, there is a law which should cause us all to shiver in our beds. How can we live under this constant threat?
:: WB 3:59 am [link+] ::
Another kind of Amore
Of the kind that is insanely gleeful, and need not actually be satisfied at all (although it is rude not to), in a field with stupid animals, like geese, nearby, in the sunshine. All hiccups and scratching. You know this kind too. If you do not, you have not lived.
:: WB 3:33 am [link+] ::
Will the circle be unbroken?
Not so long as the circle is made up of Phillip Adams. He is on Radio for the Nationally Handicapped now (that's Radio National on the AM band for those sensible wogs who do not stray from the ntza-ntza FM band). He has spoken to Mad Margo. He is now talking to someone about how awful everything is.
What on earth am doing to myself? I got to get back on my wog track.
:: WB 3:19 am [link+] ::
Of the kind that is totally lustful, and must be satisfied hastily, in the street, even with people round the corner, when its raining. All deep breathing and damp. You know the kind.
:: WB 3:14 am [link+] ::
Do you ever think that maybe it is you, Adrian
Buried in the SMH today is a tiny article informing us that 3600 out of 7600 people seeking asylum in Australia, and all represented by the one lawyer, Adrian Joel, have left the country abandoning their claims.
That is all.
:: WB 3:01 am [link+] ::
Umberto Eco unwitting channeller of imbecility
:: Monday, 25 November 2002 ::
Eco's new book Baudolino is all about make believe wogs. More specifically, medieval Italian and Arab and Jewish make-believe wogs. It is a good read so far, but that is not my point. The main character does a lot of writing. Specifically letters. And a lot of his letters, fictional and thoroughly overblown, are actually more sane that the rubbish coming out of Iraq and the new letter published around and about supposedly from Osama bin Laden. This is embarrassing for all concerned. For Eco because he is a leftie but he could just as well be Osama's screed-writer. And for 'Osama' because he looks more medieval than an overblown ficitonal medieval character in a modern novel.
By an Italian leftie.
:: WB 2:54 am [link+] ::
They cannot both be right.
Tim Dunlop has done a post on his weblog in reaction to Paul Sheehan's article in today's SMH. Sheehan's article is about a new book which exposes, so its author and Sheehan say, lies of the left in detailing Australian and Aboriginal history. The wog perspective? Of course it is lies. It is the left speaking about wogs. (Aborigines achieved Most Favoured Wog Status under PM Paul Keating, a position which, oh my god they can't believe it, has been scrapped under PM John Howard.) The left never met a whiney wog they didn't absolutely, totally, empathise with (urggh). So it is biologically natural for leftie Tim to attack Sheehan.
Read both pieces and see what you make of Tim's position. He is continuing with an argument he's run recently about right-wing hypocrisy, or something. But it is revealing he used the Sheehan piece to have a go at the Australian Right. The topic shows him up, you see. 'Stolen generations' actually is rubbish. And wogs know it. For sure there was stealing of some kids. And some giving away too. There are people who look at themselves in the mirror and do not know where they come from, poveretti. But not a generation and certainly not more than one.
Overstating hardship of that magnitude makes a mockery of the hardship. Wogs know about hardship in Australia. About being left out, singled out, mocked and even abused. The left has made things worse all over for Aborigines by refusing to treat them like people and refusing to treat their history honestly. They are just an issue for the left. As Tim shows. He doesn't grapple with the point - lefty lies. He can't. It's about Aboriginals. And that is just not done.
:: WB 3:35 am [link+] ::
Put the pen down and step away from the desk, slowly now
:: Sunday, 24 November 2002 ::
The Iraqi Foreign Minister Tariq Aziz has penned a flight of fanatic fancy: a letter of complaint all about Resolution 1441. A letter of complaint about it. A letter. Of complaint. Incredible. Can you believe it? He is delusional. His time can, of course, be spent writing such a letter. Of course. But it probably should not be. I mean how is this?
(In relation to) Operational paragraphs 5 and 7 (of resolution 1441) . These paragraphs have given UNMOVIC and the IAEA unprecedented arbitrary powers that do not agree with their international work, which requires that they respect the sovereignty of countries they work in and the countries' laws and human rights according to the U.N. charter. These unprecedented measures in the history of the international organization and in the history of international affairs and disarmament and arms control procedures aims, in fact, to hinder the work of inspectors and to create causes for confrontation and a crisis in confidence with Iraq, and opens the door again to taking advantage of inspection activities for purposes not related to the declared aims of the council's resolutions.
Wha'? The arms inspectors have finally got adequate powers to do the job right but this very adequacy is a hindrance to letting Iraq get away with bullshitting the inspectors! So the adequacy must be wrong.
I do not believe there are synapses at work in this Iraqi's head. I believe there are bats.
:: WB 2:55 am [link+] ::
Tell me something I do not know, my friend.
:: WB 1:17 pm [link+] ::
:: Saturday, 23 November 2002 ::
As an antidote to the lousy wogs blogged about below, I give you these guys.
:: WB 1:18 am [link+] ::
The outstanding characterstic of Iraq's letter acceding to the UN Security Council resolution on disarmament is its mad tone. It needs to be read from start to finish. Brace youself. It's capital "M" mad. Mad. As in stark raving pazzo. Another letter, published in the Sun Herald news paper (no link) displays the same characteristic. I quote:
"The Bali explosions might have come as a response to warn Australia against taking the line of America...if you continue to humiliate Islam and Muslims, there will be nobody to stop us threatening your interests around the world and inside your home in a way that would fill you with terror and fright that you have brought upon yoursleves."
Can you believe that? Yes. They are wogs. But not good wogs, as in the Italians, Spaniards, Greeks, Portuguese, Vietnamese, Laotian, Chinese, too many others to mention. The letter reveals a madness that is just superwoggy, you know? It's a full on threat of violence and mayhem in Oz against all Australians, wogs included. It places all responsibility upon everyone else but the threatener to somehow do something to avoid the violence and mayhem. By its gymnastic rationale, the threatener is pre-absolved of any responsibility to control himself (and you know it's a him). The writer is Middle Eastern, Near Eastern or South East Asian. For sure, money down (cash money) he's Middle Eastern. He is not Italian, Spanish, Greek, Portuguese, Vietnamese, Laotian, Chinese, or any other kind of person.
And he is a disgrace to his race, whatever that might be. I do not know a word strong enough to describe what he is to his religion. A blight, maybe. Yes. A blight. He's got that trademark terrorist bullshit 'humiliation' line about Islam and Muslims nice and prominent in the letter. So stupid. It is self-indulgent to claim you are being, or have been, 'humiliated' by some event and use that as an excuse for bad behaviour. For one person to be humiliated, there must be another person to be the humiliator. And the main characteristic of a humiliator is that he cares enough about how the other guy feels to actively try to make the other guy feel lousy. To feel humiliated, right?
No one in their right mind in Sydney Australia cares at all about how a terrorist might feel about anything. I certainly do not care. The author of the letter has no valid position. Australians have not humiliated anyone in the Middle East or elsewhere. We do not care enough about such stupid sentiments. The author of the letter is a stinking terrorist. He terrorises by his letter writing. He shows no restraint. He has to post his stupid screed to some guy to make him feel scared, bad. No restraint shown at all. And violence is an inevitability for him. 2 + 2 = eleventeen. And he misunderstands his own religion. Mad, bad, dangerous wog.
:: WB 10:53 pm [link+] ::
:: Friday, 22 November 2002 ::
It is not, by any means, a traditional wog start to a Sunday to spend time watching four skippies talk about Oz politics, but that's the beauty of being a wog. You can do stuff like a skippy, but the wog perspective....mate, it never leaves no matter how much like a skippy you seem to be. And this morning's Insiders was very interesting from a wog perspective. Week in, week out, Andrew Bolt is fighting the good fight to hold wogs accountable to the same standards as skippies expect from themselves, and every week his point his rejected by the female journo. Today was the very good looking plump girlie from Adelaide I think. As usual, shutters went up the minute any talk of terrorism, accountability etc etc started. She doesn't want to hear it. It began as a particularly surprisingly stupid statement from Barrie Cassidy acting all confused about the Prime Minister's remarks on radio to the effect that wogs cannot arrive in Oz and 'cherry pick' the bits about Oz that they like and reject other bits. The PM sais effectively, wogs have to take Oz as it is. All of it. To which this wog says "Yeah, well yeah. Your point being?"
There's nothing confusing about this. Wogs have been cherry picking for decades in Oz. That's what happens people from different parts of the globe end up in one sunburnt spot. Most of the time, it does not cause any problems. It is possible, in fact, desirable, in my opinion, to exclusively dine on Italian food, drive Italian cars, live in apartments designed by Italians, in short live an almost wholly Italian lifestyle here in Oz. Sometimes it does cause problems. Years ago, there was a criminal law case involving a Turkish girl who had been killed by her father and her brother because she was going out with a skippy boy against their wishes. It was an honour thing. Very woggy. They were cherry picking, the murderous shitheads. They live nice in Oz, accepting everything else about living here, but the law against murder, even in an honour killing situation...well, that particular Australian thing, they did not care to respect. Violent imbeciles.
What the PM said resonates very well with wogs. We know what he is getting at. It's no big deal. And Barrie Cassidy understands it too. He just acted stupid this morning.
:: WB 6:31 pm [link+] ::
I would say "Oh my God, I don't believe it" but I do. Continuing the topic from from my post below, I just read Jack Robertson's hysterical rant also on WebDiary. Once again I observe a skippy overreacting to something, in this case the something being the harsh attack by NSW Premier Bob Carr upon WebDiary's Margo Kingston. I have followed this closely on several blogs, including those by Gareth Parker, Tim Blair, Ken Parish and Tim Dunlop. I read WebDiary every day. I read it in Italy where I was when the massacre happened. Margo's denial is rubbish. Her reaction to Bali was to write a piece, a stupid stream of consciousness which asked whether Australians were somehow responsible. And she did not conclude that we were not responsible. Therefore she was blaming us. Dunlop has made a spirited defence of Margo, arguing that there is a difference between asking questions and blaming the victim. There is no difference if all you do is ask questions and never get around to suggesting someone other than us might be to blame. And all Margo did was ask questions about whether Australians were somehow responsible. That is what she did. I read it. That is what I thought when I read it. So she did it.
The Premier and Mark Steyn were spot on. End of story.
:: WB 9:53 pm [link+] ::
What is it about some people who just love a sense of crisis, you know? I was just reading the SMH WebDiary and I thought to myself, there's a lot of hysterical people, mostly skippies, who could be making a good point about civil liberties or something, but who cares what that point might be because they all sound so extreme about it. Calm down. It is not the end of the world if a government tries to push through some legislation about anti-terrorism power, okay? It is a parliamentary process and we are welcome to scrutinise it and vote on it if needs be at the election. And it is not the end of the world if an imbecilic skippy preacher talks about banning the chador either and the PM takes a sec before deciding against it.
Wogs understand hysterical language. It is not influential. In fact, it has precisely the reverse effect. It makes the speaker/writer look underservingly desperate. Not a smart way of communicating.
:: WB 9:12 pm [link+] ::
An article is published in Nigeria about Muslim threats and demands for cancellation of the Miss World Pageant. The article contains a quote from someone suggesting that the pageant isn't offensive and that the Prophet might even have selected one of the contestants for his wife. A simple published quote from a person speaking words has led to violence for three days leaving over 100 dead in attacks and necklacing with renewed demonstrations featuring this line - "Miss World is Sin". I have not yet seen any news about the fatwa that surely has been called on the quoted person, but presumably they are in hiding. The publisher of the article published an apology and the pageant is now moving to London. It will go ahead and the tv will broadcast it into Nigeria. So the sin will still be round AND now the country looks like its run by violent medieval imbeciles. Good work, stupids.
What is it about Nigeria's Muslims and girlies having fun?
:: WB 7:38 pm [link+] ::
This blog will present a wog perspective on matters. And this wog will decide what matters.
:: WB 6:50 pm [link+] ::