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:: Tuesday, 15 April 2008 ::

Luvvie Full of Shit

I know, I know, the sky is blue, breaths must go in and out, walking forwards needs one foot in front of the other. Actors are idiots. But this Cate Blanchett is a rolled gold arts snob. Good looking, top at acting, prolly nice lady, fine wife, caring mother, maybe even good mate and drinking buddy (when she is not up the duff) but whoo, she is a "artist" and she's the centre of the frickin' universe, and all youse are gonna have to pay for it, if Cate gets her way.

To whit:

... arts and creativity - the makings of culture - are in fact the central endeavour of our species.

No, they are not. You can be sure that when our Cate says "arts" she means theatre, writing, poetry, opera, sculpture, painting, and maybe lets in film and maybe even television (but not much) and prolly even extends it out to those wank "arts" like installations and photography and graphic design.

Rest assured she does not include AFL or the nags, trots or dogs or Bathurst or pubs.

How can we be sure of Cate's insufferable snobbery? She calls it "arts and creativity". Only folks who work at stuff that is not artistic or even remotely creative bother to so carefully develop a worldview and habit that applies that moniker to their pursuits.

The rest of us just get on with having it in our lives everywhere. Art I mean. On the walls of the house, on the stereo, in the blog, it is the car we drive, the coffee maker we choose, the clothes we wear, how we speak etc.

None of Cate's stuff is even remotely near the centre of man's endeavours. It is somewhere out on the fringe, where it belongs. Do not get me wrong. I do not advocate banning arts. I do, however, advocate constant mockery of artists. Maybe even an amnesty to allow folks like me to deliver a smackdown to folks like Cate just for one night - a great melee if you will. Now that would be performance art, alright! And I am certain Oz would pay to see it. Roll up, roll up.

The centre is firmly held by the desire to be better and to share joy.

Because it is there. That's one man's endeavour (two, atchally with Tenzin).

Finding fire, inventing the wheel, building houses, bridges and roads, and being in the company of folks who you love, specially if some of them are genuinely fall down funny and generous with it. Travelling, using blogs to meet folks whatever. That is the centre.

Going to the theatre or the opera is not. It is an imitation of life where you sit in the dark for a couple hours so wankers on stage can get a hardon over everyone watching them. If it all stopped right now, here today, if every actor in Oz was just cryovacced for one frickin' year, no one would give a shit (except the wankers themselves). Do not get me wrong - I do not hate the "arts", not at all. I like 'em. I am for 'em. Well, I am for orchestras and operas and painters. Theatre...do not care, cannot be asked to care. Sculptors, mmmm not sure. Photographers? Gi. Fa. Oh, except maybe this guy.

Scientific enquiry flows out of and is inspired by them, wars are fought in their defence, cities, trade and complex economies are enabled and facilitated by them.

No war is ever going to be fought over the Sydney fricking Theatre Company's latest tedious production of something that was super dull to start with? Zif. Cate wishes anyone anywhere gave a shit to war about it. As it is, she cannot get bums on frickin' seats for her circlejerks. Her work is irrelevant to most everyone. Out on the fringe, changing nothing, delivering nothing. Not even innovation. New theatre script? Who cares. It will be as boring as the last script.

The 2020 summit is an opportunity to dream of a co-ordination between the many important strands of our densely packed society.


I believe cultural vitality and real engagement are central to many of them.

If by this she means the many wogs in Oz have their own culture and like it a lot, then yeah. Wogs like art. Wogs live art. Your point being, Cate?

Generally, how can we encourage lateral, creative and fresh thinking? On the day, the creative stream will grapple with issues like evolutions in practice, our role in Asia, the relationship between access to the arts and pursuit of excellence, examination of youth arts, broadcasting and media reform and the ever-present issue of Australian content.

Christ on a stick, "the creative stream"? And how about "able to formulate its own opinions"? Who the heck else's would they hold?


As this is a collaborative process, the participants' ideas will form the specific agenda which is still taking shape. This summit demands we imagine and then create the future. Creativity and the arts are as elemental to that future as they are to the past. They are a link between us all and an expression of our differences.

Hmmm. It certainly is a difference that most "arts" in Oz are shithouse and the population does not spend time or money visiting, watching, listening or even remotely experiencing it. So, yeah, that is a 'link' I suppose.

My driving question will always be how do we consolidate and deepen all Australians' cultural engagement so that regardless and in fact because of personal preferences we are contributing socially and rewardingly to a broad and sustainable future?

You got that? She will never stop asking how to get more Australians engaged in culture so that everyone is contributing to the future.

Never stop. Cannot envisage a point at which there will be adequate engagement by others in her worldview. Quite the fascist, isn't she? Just like Louise Adler, only way prettier.

What she dreams of is a future where even though the movies are made but not seen, the theatre is held but not attended, the opera goes on, the orchestra plays, and it only happens through taxpayer burden but still hardly a soul cares, etc etc the folks who want to devote themselves to these essentially unwanted pursuits can still pursue them without ever being realistic about their popularity.

To put it accurately without hiding behind the bullshit overblown prose, Cate will always be asking:

How can the government force more Australians to fund her theatre and her friends boring films etc etc?

It is a "idea" straight out of the 70s and there is nothing "creative" or "innovative" or "fresh" about it.

I am all in favour of a bit of funding for "the arts". I would simply ask in return that artists not behave as if they really matter when they so evidently do not. They can think they are the centre of the universe. Think whatever you like. But we should all be at liberty to take the piss.

It is the Australian way.

I'll wager Cate will not consider it "creative" or "innovative" to conclude that the reason the arts is not well attended in Oz is cos it is shite, and it is shite because it is subsidised and never has to earn its way into the "centre of man's endeavours".


UPDATE: This is what Cate wants more of. A one eighth return on all our investment, so she and her art pals can avoid getting real jobs.

:: WB 5:46 am [link+] ::

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